meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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