mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Never joke about your clitoris.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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