Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
