More tranny stories later!
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
