If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
