Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
