I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
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