Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
