Quick, to the slutcave!
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize