Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
