Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
