too bad you live with your parents still
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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