I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
He told me they were just razor bumps!
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
