i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
