as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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