May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Randomize