Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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