I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
