Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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