walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
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