You made me cry and you don't even care
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
