I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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