i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
