So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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