Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
