if only i could text you this smell
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
