We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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