East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
