He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
