I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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