the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
