there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
