Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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