i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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