it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Just high enough for therapy.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I'm always down for nudity.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize