We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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