Sry I called you an 8
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
