This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
