She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
