Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Randomize
