hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
