forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
