I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
