one might say we're banned from that church
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
