so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
well you can't waste a boner
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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