So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize