can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
