No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
