To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I need to align my fucking chakras
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
