I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
