you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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