How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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