she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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