I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Randomize
