come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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