Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Your cock deserves a montage
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
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