I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
