She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
