All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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