I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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