it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize