Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Randomize
