i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
