After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
