She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize