It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
