we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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