My brain says no but my pants say off.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
