Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
