no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize