Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
