Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
